Many people are summoned for jury duty, but many of those called to serve don't like to perform it. Here's a helpful hint for being dismissed early. It's all about the dress code. Wearing this outfit, you will never have to listen to a boring trial: one roller skate, one swim flipper, a frilly ballerina tutu, imitation "world champion" wresting belt like Hulk Hogan would wear, a T-shirt that says "Daddy's little princess" (for a man) or "Mustache rides: 5 cents" (for a woman), a swastika armband, X-ray specs, 4 wrist watches, fingerless gloves, and a lady's hat with a small bouquet of flowers and stuffed squirrel in it, an eye patch, a breath-right strip that bears the logo of a sports team, and one pint of perfume. It has been 21 years since my last summons for jury duty. Thanks outfit, you're the best!