Thursday, March 12, 2009
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Part 3: The thorazine years
Chapter 9: Shoelaces
Tuesday began like any other Tuesday would: in the morning. I stopped by Starbucks for coffee. This was a new Starbucks, and I was eager to check it out. They actually opened this one inside of another Starbucks. The girl behind the counter could have been cute, but she had varicose nostrils and a monobrow on her upper lip. She could have just as easily been Teddy Roosevelt with a bad allergic reaction to shellfish. I got a large decaf coffee to wash down my Vivarin and a vegetarian breakfast panini with bacon and scrapple. That and a CFDR-'Bull ("Caffeine-free Diet Red Bull gives you feet!") help me start my day. I bought a newspaper but not for the articles, I got it so I could do that alphabet sudoku they put by the comics. 1-Across: Bothered, in a way. Irritated. Four letters. No problem, I'll just put both Rs into one box and "tated" in another box, then each "I" gets its own box. I am the master of these puzzles. There is something in my brain trying to get my attention. It could be a meningitis flareup for which I could use Preparation M, or it could be something I need to remember. I can't stand shoving those Preparation M suppositories into my ears and nostrils, so I'll try to figure out what I might need to remember. Should I be at work? Do I have a job? Am I supposed to be in court today? If so, am I a lawyer or a defendant? Maybe I'm a judge. There's really no way to know.
Tuesday began like any other Tuesday would: in the morning. I stopped by Starbucks for coffee. This was a new Starbucks, and I was eager to check it out. They actually opened this one inside of another Starbucks. The girl behind the counter could have been cute, but she had varicose nostrils and a monobrow on her upper lip. She could have just as easily been Teddy Roosevelt with a bad allergic reaction to shellfish. I got a large decaf coffee to wash down my Vivarin and a vegetarian breakfast panini with bacon and scrapple. That and a CFDR-'Bull ("Caffeine-free Diet Red Bull gives you feet!") help me start my day. I bought a newspaper but not for the articles, I got it so I could do that alphabet sudoku they put by the comics. 1-Across: Bothered, in a way. Irritated. Four letters. No problem, I'll just put both Rs into one box and "tated" in another box, then each "I" gets its own box. I am the master of these puzzles. There is something in my brain trying to get my attention. It could be a meningitis flareup for which I could use Preparation M, or it could be something I need to remember. I can't stand shoving those Preparation M suppositories into my ears and nostrils, so I'll try to figure out what I might need to remember. Should I be at work? Do I have a job? Am I supposed to be in court today? If so, am I a lawyer or a defendant? Maybe I'm a judge. There's really no way to know.
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